Holy Spirit

Lately, I have been reading a book by Frances Chan called "Forgotten God." This book revolves around the Holy Spirit and how we often forget about this crucial part of our Triune God. While I have been touched about how often I do forget about the Spirit, last night two things stuck out to me while reading.

The first is this perception in Christianity that if I am not lead where I do not want to go then I am not really doing God's work. I found this often while on campus at Azusa Pacific. There was this feeling as though we were all being judged of if we gave up everything and went some place to serve. Not just this but it had to be a place we did not want to go.

This became a dominant Christian narrative on campus, just like having a single moment where you became a follower of Jesus, or you went on coffee dates. The feel began to be this have and have-nots of followers. I realize most of this is just perceived, but it became very frustrating.

I found myself torn as I wanted to do that also. I wanted to go abroad and give up time in my life just to serve and nothing else. The problem is that is not who God created me to be. Now I imagine people responding back, "How do you know that?" It has been confirmed to me again and again. I contract just about every illness I come into contact with. Every trip to a poverty stricken area I end up coming down with a serious illness. I had a 102 temperature from another mission to Mexico, where I also contracted Tuberculosis. And on another Mexico mission I ended up puking for days. Once, is just a chance, multiple times and I believe something is trying to be communicated.

In the end the perspective that we all MUST go aboard to serve God is just false. Some are called to go, and others to stay. The important part is serving with all your heart.

The second thing that we often forget that the Spirit is right there to walk with every day. Jesus told us the spirit would be better than having Him around. Personally, I do not act like that. I yearn to have Jesus with me. I forget about the gift that we have been given.

The saddest thing for me is to realize how little I include God, or more specifically in this life. I have tested God's promise of being given the Spirit when we ask. I have felt fully that I was no longer in control of myself and the Spirit had taken over. The things that came from that were beautiful and more fruitful that I could ever accomplish. So why do I now forget?

It is time for me to wake up and remember the Spirit. Allow the Spirit into me and to take over. I miss teachable moments. I say the wrong things, stumble on testimony, become tempted by things and sin, and fail to honor God with the things I do and fail to do. When I have included the Spirit in my life none of this has happened. I know that I often get in the way and I want to no longer do that. I want to let go and let the Holy Spirit take over.

By doing this I know that true Joy, true Beauty, and true Faith shall come. Enter Spirit, I am ready to be convicted, redeemed, and counseled.