Saturday, January 30, 2010

All in a day at church

Often funny things happen at church. There might be a little goof up, or a great joke. Sometimes its just one of those "life" things that happen and you can't help but laugh. Well the other day Kessia and I had five of those things happen, mostly thanks to my wife!

Quotables
The first story comes from Sunday School. I went first to check in on the young kids and then went over to middle school sunday school. When I got there Kessia was leading the class and talking about theme parks like Disneyland. Once I came they settled down to the lesson at hand.

The passage dealt with Jesus reading a passage from Isaiah. This is a very difficult passage, especially for young kids. They did their best and we tried to bring it to their level. The first part we tackled was bringing good news to the poor. We asked what they thought that good news might be. Of course they answered with money, a home, ect. (surprisingly they did not say food). I knew I would be an instigator in this lesson. I pushed harder and asked them what they would really want to hear if they were poor. I had to also ask does money always bring happiness.

At this point the kids start talking about Crab in Spongbob Squarepants. That is when my wife busts out with a quote from a rapper. "Mo money, Mo problems!" She exclaimed! I started laughing so bad and all the 11 year old kids had no idea what was going on. When's the last time Notorious B.I.G made it into your Sunday School!


Going to the warehouse
After a long morning my wife and I slumped into a couple of chairs in the fellowship hall. A few of the older women walked over and said hello and asked us how we were. We said good but tired. They wanted to know why and my wife responds, "Yesterday Nate took the kids to a warehouse..." Again, I started laughing as it sounded just wrong. Now Kessia contends that she just had a short pause and then she said to jump on trampolines. Priceless pause!

Who's the Cheater?
Then, after all that we still had more to go (yeah my wife is awesome that she still even comes to church with me!). We went for a pizza lunch with the confirmation students and the pastor at our church. We centered this lesson on who Jesus is to us. After a few times around the circle one of the dads joked that he wanted to just cheat and copy all Kessia's answers. Kessia quickly responds, "Nate used to cheat off me in high school!" I wanted to slap my forehead! I responded quickly, "No, we worked on the notes together and then I made a copy for the test." Trying to save myself to keep a little authority with the kids. "No," she responds. "You didn't do any of the work and still got a better grade!" At that I turned a brand new shade of red I am sure.

HA!
At confirmation we had another great laugh. The dad, from the previous story, mentioned Lorenzo Romar in one of his answers in talking about faith and Jesus. Our pastor looks at the dad honestly and with an honest blank look says, "Who is that?" In the quiet room a loud "HA!" bursts out from next to the pastor as Kessia could not hold in a laugh. The pastor turns, laughing, and says "Well, I guess its someone I should know!"


Who is that?
After our pizza confirmation lunch the pastor, whom I have worked with for over a year, and I started talking about all things church. Midway through the conversation she asks me "So which families are all coming on the retreat?" I start to list them off, "The Johnsons, the Smiths, the Danielsons, and the Goldblooms." She recognized all but one of the families. She replied "Who are the Goldblooms?" Kessia piped in the conversation at this point and replied, "That's us."

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Getting National Attention

There is an interesting dynamic that comes up with the internet. Previous voices that could not be heard are now able to travel to those known on a larger scale. Artists (producing tv shows, sports teams, paintings, ect) now get critical feedback from unknown sources. Often those sources are willing to be more harsh than the would in normal interactions, myself included.

That being the case I had an interesting discourse with a national writer the other day. I will get to the actual texts back and forth, but I figured some background first would help. While in college I was taught a lot about culture. In this class we were challenged to not just respond to culture, but to create culture. We saw how others did this like MTV and we read great classics like that of Niebuhr called "Christ and Culture." The result is I do not look at ministry as simply reacting to the trends or upsetting parts of the mainstream media. Instead I want to engage with my small ministry culture (as each group of youth, church, school, area, ect, has its own culture) and change that.

We were also challenged to research culture. I have taken this seriously and when there is a slow day in the office I search around to check out what is going on with youth today. As a result I stumbled across what I had hoped would be a decent resource for trends with a ministry eye. Instead what I found was a reactionary view of culture that was more, in my opinion, stirring up fear, anger, and frustration of youth workers. I blogged about this site a long time ago, but recently I wrote them a response in my frustration with their approach. What you read is a blog response to me, a comment from one of the writers and my comment back. Enjoy!

I guess we're "missing the mark"

I get all kinds of emails and feedback from people about the free resources and articles we provide. Here's an interesting one to ponder. I can't say I like this person's first sentence: "The youth culture window that you guys offer is missing the mark."

He's talking about our Youth Culture Window (YCW) articles, featured in the big magnifying glass on the front page of our web site each week.

Let me be the first to verbalize, "Don't worry David (David writes over 80% of our YCW articles), I think you're right on the mark! Critics are a dime a dozen. I appreciate your work!"

Here's this guy's entire email to us:

The youth culture window that you guys offer is missing the mark. Lets be honest, the majority of the posts deal with sex. This is what our culture as a church thinks is crucial to fight. Violence is also out there. Then comes what about the good stuff going on in culture? It is sad that all you can find in culture is things to complain about. Ultimately, what you are addressing is the symptoms of the larger issues within culture. Please, PLEASE, read Niebuhr's "Christ & Culture" and see if you can incorporate something more than the "Christ against Culture" attitude.

It's interesting that he observed that most of our posts have to do with sex. I agree. We simply report what's going on in today's youth culture and the media, and that's pretty sex driven. I wish it wasn't.

I also find it intriguing that he mentioned how much of this was "bad news." David and I talk about this frequently as we research current attitudes and trends. We constantly are asking, "Isn't there something mainstream that's good that we can report about" And that's the key-- we want to try to focus on attitudes and trends that are predominant across the board, not the exception.

Considering his criticism, I looked at the list of our last few articles released and the subjects they covered.:

The New Form of Phone Sex (1/2/2010)
BeyoncĂ©’s Newest Song “Video Phone”
This article is about Beyonce's newest song and video which are filled with sexual imagery.

The #1 Hits of 2009 (12/11/2009)
A Review of 2009’s Top Songs and Their Message
This article reviews all the top songs of 2009, whatever their message.

Culture’s Confusion Over Sex (12/4/2009)
And The Impact It’s Making On Teens
Yes, this article is about sex, specifically new research about the confusing messages our students are being inundated with.

Fireflies from Owl City (11/28/2009)
Is That a Christian at the Top of the Charts?
This article is about a new song and artist that is not only popular... he's clean!

Twilight Goes ‘Emo’ (11/12/2009)
Bella’s Self Destructive Dependence on Edward
This article is about on of the biggest media youth culture phenomenons of the year, the newest film from the Twilight series. The article focuses most of its attention on self destructive behavior.

Do Threesomes Come in Threes? (11/4/2009)
Youth Media Ups the Ante with Sexy Trios
This article focuses on the abundance of recent threesomes in the media, as well as the onslaught of "bi-curious" attitudes and activity portrayed.

“I’m Trying to Talk to You!” (10/30/2009)
Getting the Attention of Teenagers
This article discusses the different communication technologies used for contacting students and their effectiveness.

So... are our YCW articles a misrepresentation?

Thoughts?

(By Jonathan)


The David writer he references:

Requesting Gravatar...
First, I’d like to thank the reader of Jonathan’s blog for his comments. Seriously. It’s always good to get feedback, even if the feedback is critical. That being said, I will offer a brief response that I hope will be fair and not defensive.

Besides the first sentence, which Jonathan already addressed in his blog, this person says, “the majority of the posts deal with sex.” Let’s see about that. I went back and tabulated the percentage of articles that deal with the topic of sex, and found that it was less than 20%. That’s far short of the “majority” he found. Granted, it may be a bit arguable about which articles deal with the topic of sex directly and which ones don’t – some articles “mention” sex or use it to illustrate a point, but are about another topic altogether – but even if the percentage is DOUBLED, the total is still well below 40%.

But let’s forget the numbers for a moment. As one of the other readers commented, none of us like all that we see when we look out our window onto culture today because so much of it is saturated with sex. It’s a bit ironic, but I spent a good portion of my day writing a message…on sex…that I’ll give Saturday night to a group of middle schoolers when I speak in Pennsylvania this coming weekend. When I submitted the message outlines to the camp director a few weeks ago, I included the message on sex. (I actually thought he would ask me to substitute something else in place of the message on sex, but I didn’t hear that from him.) Later, I called him, just to make sure he had read over my notes and seen that I wanted to address sex…with middle schoolers. He told me that he had seen the message in my weekend lineup and welcomed it because of how many students he saw coming through his camp that were dealing with the woes associated with sexual mistakes.

The critique is that the Youth Culture Window articles talk about sex too much. Perhaps they don’t address it enough.

Moving on.

I’ll skip over the accusation of our articles being mere complaining; that’s too subjective to argue. However, one of the crucial purposes of the Youth Culture Window articles has always been to educate our readers about the facets of culture, both good and bad.

Finally, the individual appeals to Niebuhr’s work entitled Christ and Culture and asks us to read it so we can move beyond the “Christ against Culture” mentality that Niebuhr denounces. First, I’m already familiar with Niebuhr’s work. Second, there is nothing wrong with being “against culture” when culture is clearly wrong, wicked, or sinful. None of us (as believers) are in a position to condemn anyone else, yet all of us (as believers) are obligated to help the younger, or more immature among us. Third, what Niebuhr describes as the best stance on culture, the “reformational” or “transformational” attitude, is precisely the target we aim at in the articles. Almost all of the articles end with a few ideas, strategies, or resources that (hopefully) equip our readers with the ability to engage the elements of culture so that it too can be redeemed.

Again, I sincerely thank the person who submitted the thoughts, and welcome others to do so, as well. Even though I ultimately disagree with him, his critique showed a high level of thought that is uncharacteristic in most youth ministry circles today. It’s good to see someone thinking so theologically about our students and the culture they wade through each and every day.

David R. Smith





Finally, my response to them both:
As the emailer, I figure I should help clarify my statements as I honestly did not expect a reply, as the site is free :). The majority of this response is to David as he was who I was originally addressing, but hopefully this will help clarify my hope and challenge as it was briefly stated in my previous comments.

1) Sex needs to be addressed. I agree with that as students are bombarded with images and cultures thoughts on this daily (could say hourly or every minute). My point was more than there are other very important issues that youth workers deal with daily such as drugs, depression, cutting, gossip, ect. I would argue that the issues that are more pertinent to be "against" are the ones that our culture (and more importantly the church) have already accepted as acceptable- materialism (and to a much lesser degree violence).

Really, none of these matter if you can get at the heart of the issues facing teens (which these are all a symptoms of): where we find our value, what is our identity, and what it really means to be created in the image and likeness of God.

2) I am glad you are familiar with Niebuhr. What makes the work a classic is how Niebuhr does not really give us his view in it of which one is the best. After each he explains positives and negatives with each. This is why I brought this up. In the posts I have read they have primarily used the "Christ against Culture" by presenting a trend and then telling why this is alarming or we should be afraid. They have always ended with suggestions, but if we are only RESPONDING to culture then there is a problem. We need to be creating culture. This might be small, such as in our own circles fostering an environment of safety, or lame jokes, ect. that makes a new culture instead of simply playing off the old.

How would you do that in your articles? I don't know, but I wanted to present the challenge. You already have an established audience that could use this help.

3) I mentioned the negativity. It is great to hear that you guys look for trends that are positive. There are many other neutral trends that maybe we can use to create something new and change the culture like Paul did with the unknown God. Here are a few I have seen in ministry over the last couple years:

Schools increasingly requiring service work (and non religious service trips to other countries)

Groups trying to break away from media. In Britain there has been a large rise in Knitting, Cloud watching groups, ect. How great would it be to help ministers capitalize on the growing need for human interaction and slowing down that students are missing.

Rising age of adulthood and the lack of a "rite of passage"

Time had an article on the growing groups going to more liturgical churches because of the feel of deep reverence

These are just a few suggestions. There are hundreds of things out there to write about that might help leaders with students and their culture.

Ultimately, We do need to know what is going on in culture. Honestly though, the best source is simply developing a relationships with our students and digging into it ourselves as each one of our "Youth cultures" will be different. Mine right now has an eclectic group with varying needs. None of them pay attention to the mainstream media because they are not accepted by the mainstream media.

What I hoped to do was to challenge you to more than just simple reporting. Anyone can do that. Find the trends, dig to the deeper issue, and help the youth leaders address that. Hopefully, now you understand that while it looked like harsh criticism it was really challenge from another brother to take it to the next level.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Kindred Spirits

There are some spirits in our lives that we run across that we bond with. We grow close through shared experiences and touch each other's lives. We see the same attitude, passion, and expressions in each other. Words need not be spoken because both know the bond is there. A simple look and you both know what each other are thinking. It is not often that we find this deep bond in our lives. When we do it is something to cherish.

I lost a kindred spirit two days ago.

It is hard for me to think about. Harder for me that I know the world would not understand the depth of the pain as my kindred spirit was my cat, Nike. I know most would shrug this off and not understand that he was more than a pet. He and I bonded on a spiritual level. We shared many moments, memories, and joys. I know that he knew he was loved. I wish I just had a way to tell him how much.

Harder still is I don't know what happens after death for animals. I pray and hope that he too will receive an afterlife. It hurts just that there is a possibility that a spiritual friend, like Nike, and I may never meet again. The unknown on this scares me.

Then comes the pain that I have cried more for his death than for relatives. The guilt of this stings, yet it is the truth. Is it ok to have been more connected to a cat than a person?

While I work through these sad thoughts I do know one thing, he was a soul friend. We had fun (he better have with all the catnip I gave him!). We had battles of stubbornness. We had deep bonded moments of care and support in as each other struggled in life. He laid with me. He cheered me up. He made me laugh. I comforted him in his injuries. Cared for his needs. Protected him from fireworks and small children. We headbutted one another like a bunch of silly guys. We played together.

I will miss my cat. I will miss him as a friend, loved one, and kindred spirit.

RIP Nike
I love you