Saturday, July 17, 2010

Lonely in Ministry

There is an assumption out there that ministry is for the extroverts. That church ministry is a lively, social profession that has you constantly around people. There might be some truth to this, but more often I have had severe moments of loneliness when in ministry. This feeling is not isolated to me, but is actually very common in ministry. What leads to it? Why do we end up with this feeling? While, I might not be able to answer these questions for the majority, I can shed some light on my experiences and what has lead me to feel lonely.

This last week I had a bout of loneliness. I was setting up for Vacation Bible Camp. After spending 20+ hours decorating and creating a few little backgrounds, I looked around and it felt daunting. See, over the course of those two days there was only one family to help out with the set up. There were two staff members (+ one spouse), and my relatives. After all the advertising, begging, pleading, and crying out for help the only response is from those who are paid to be around or family (almost paid!). There was no support of the ministry that was taking place.

This, I believe, is one of the biggest causes of the loneliness in ministry. Spending hours working on something only to have no one show up, or help make an event possible. This attitude that comes out, in all the churches and settings I have been in, leads to the question of "Am I making a difference?" Or maybe more to the point, "Am I laboring in vain?"

The point that has seemed to have been missed in the church today is that it is not the minister's and paid staffs ministry, but those in the church. Which leaves us with two conclusions, either we are doing the wrong things in church (hence no buy in), or the wrong message is out there. The wrong message would be the idea that you have to be in "leadership" to do anything in the church.

The other perception that could lead to this is the individualistic approach to ministry. This idea that everyone needs to have their cup filled at church so they can go throughout the week leads us to not try to help others, but focus on ourselves.

I have no answers for this, just another plea for help. On behalf of all the youth leaders, pastors, ministers, and other program leaders, please help. It is not our ministry alone. We are only one piece of the body. We need the other hands, feet, heart, eyes, and ears to make us a complete church. Without you, we just have a job and no purpose. We desire so badly to support, guide, help, but we also need care too. Otherwise we burnout fast.

Now, back up to church to set up the rest of Vacation Bible Camp...alone...

Friday, July 9, 2010

Reading Scripture as an Art

I just started reading a book borrowed from a friend called "The Art of Reading Scripture". As I go into graduate school this book is how many of the professors address scripture. I have finished the intro and there are a few things that concerned me.

So far, and this most likely will change as I get deeper into the book, the premise of the book is how we need to have our scripture reading/studying be an art form. It is not just right or wrong, but as an art form can bring about something beautiful. The judgment of readings then becomes the same as are - the standard of beauty. This allows us to be in touch with the imaginative power of God. This is a simplification, but still holds the main thesis as presented so far.

It took me about an hour of rambling with my wife to finally figure out why this bothered me. When I read scripture I am not reading it as a self help book, as the book prods at, nor as a though I am an artist. When, I read the Word of God, I read it to commune with God. While I see my self as a co-creator with God, I do not see myself as creating in interpreting the Bible.

I guess the best way I can put my hesitancy with this concept is that I see God as the artist, and if I am lucky then I am the paint brush. I can possibly serve God in bringing out beauty, but it is not of me and my skill. It is by humbly putting myself in God's hands that I can become a avenue for God's beauty to come forth. None of it is from my hand, but only by the grace of God.

Another piece of the intro stuck with me as a splinter in my side. The author concludes that because reading scripture is an art we must learn this through apprenticeship at the feet of masters. This sounds great, but two logistical problems come forth. Who decides are masters?

By learning how to read scripture from a master we will inherently limit our view of scripture. Teachers, myself included, all have limited view points. We have our own biases and this will come down into the student. For example, if I asked a Presbyterian who a master artist of reading scripture was, they would have a vastly different view than a Catholic. So much so that they may claim that the others' recommendation is not a master at all.

While we may not be able to agree on a current day master, maybe we could agree on a historical one, like Thomas Aquinas. This is where the second logistical problem comes into play. If the master has passed then how can I ask them questions? How can we really learn from them at their feet. All I would be doing is interpreting their interpretations. I maybe able to learn from looking at Da Vinci's works, but that can not teach me how to mix paints properly, or I can not ask him how he achieved this or that in his paintings. It can be very helpful, even crucial, but it can not replace a live, present master/mentor.

I am excited to continue reading this book and see how my understanding grows of how to read scripture as an art. Maybe my opinion will change and I will fully grasp the benefits and embrace this different way. If not, at least it got me to better understand why I believe the things I do.