Scared of Commitment?

Your hands are all sweaty as you look down. All the what if thoughts are racing through your mind. Your face is getting hotter and hotter, wondering if you really should take that giant leap. This is big! What happens after you take that big leap? Will they still pursue you? Will you still want them? You know its the right thing but making that commitment is a huge step. You take a deep breath, reach down and grab the pen. Carefully, you put your name, email, address, and phone down in the church friendship book.

Living in Seattle, there seems to be a fear of committing to a church. If you make a commitment then you are locked in. All the worries of people judging, talking about faith, disagreements, concerns of boredom creep up. The common excuses come to mind of being too busy, or not knowing anyone, or not fitting exactly perfect. We talk ourselves into church hopping as though it is the national past time, maybe it is! All the while we miss out on great opportunities.

I have had a few conversations lately about what parents goals and ideas are about having their children in church. Many have stated that they are not worried about denomination, but want their children to be in a place to grow in their faith. Others speak with their actions of shifting to a new church once something hard comes up or the become "known". Still others have a home church, but do not come regularly. It seems as though church is just a moral outlet or a release.

These many different perspectives got me thinking about why is it so tough for us to enter into a church and stick. The comment I have heard most often when a family is leaving is that "there is not enough going on." What needs to be going on?

I would theorize that what leads many to church hop is not theological differences, denominational perspectives or crises, but instead this need to be at a place where things are "happening". Having worked inside churches I have to tell you that there are always things happening, and if not then we can make things happen in most churches. It becomes that a church needs to seem active and energetic rather than have solid theology for many church hoppers.

There are a few places in society where I have seen these exact issues cropping up. Fast food, we want things our way quick and at our convenience. Check out lines: we do not want to waste time so we look for the quickest, shortest line to get by all the other people. Facebook: invited to an event? well I will put maybe in case something better comes along. We are becoming trained not to honor commitments, but to look for the next up and coming thing.

Kessia and I watch HGTV all the time. One thing I find fascinating about those shows is the real estate agents are always describing the place they are showing as the next up and coming neighborhood. This is a desirable thing! What happened to making the best out of where you are? Or improving your community?

As I talked with my pastor today, she commented that my generation (millennials) as a group that is not as afraid of staying in one spot. We have a sense of justice, activism, and volunteering. I would agree with that, but from first hand I would also say we have a great sense of how to look for the next best thing.

To those hopping churches I have one piece of advice. Choose a church. Any church. And go every Sunday for 6 months. Go to the fellowship hour. Talk to those in the church. Join a study. If at the end of the 6 months you haven't blessed that community and vis-a-versa then think about changing churches. But give a church an actual shot! I'd be willing to bet money that 90% of those people who did would grow in their life and faith.

So pick up the pen. Write your contact information. Then pursue the church as though your seeking God, because that's what should be happening!