Setting Priorities

Kessia and I have been watching HGTV (too much!) I end up thinking way too much about owning a home. The thoughts of future always excite me. I started to dream about what we would need in a home. It is clear to me that I would want three bedrooms. This would allow us to have enough room for a child one day.

It is that picturing having a child that has me reflecting on what I see parents teaching and working with their children on. I fully realize there are so many things that we can not control in children's lives. No matter how hard we try we can not protect them from everything. We can not force them to eat, learn, or use the restroom. On the flip side though I see many who do not want to challenge their children on anything. They give in to everything. Some pick everything as a battle. Some pick just a few things.

The battles that some parents chose to pick baffles me in all honesty. I know I will struggle with this one day too, but for now I wonder why the battle is to force the child to play soccer. The battle is taking dance. The battle is what movies to watch and TV shows. Then exhausted, church becomes the concession for eating all their food. Church is negotiated and bargained so the child can stay up late watching TV, talking with friends, or playing video games.

One family recently stated to me that they have three things that are not negotiable in their house: School, Church, and Piano. They have set these things up and in all honesty I have not heard their kids complain about things being boring. Their children instead know they are going whether they find it fun or not. So, at that point its on us to make the best of it. When forced we have to adjust our attitude or just continue to suffer.

There are always circumstances that happen in life that make things adjustable. Sicknesses, a unique opportunity, a family reunion, or maybe even service projects. Point is we realize that things do come up and we are flexible about it. What the family has stated is that faith is a priority in their life and their children have picked up on that.

As with this new perspective for me I know I fought this as I was a child too. I pushed to stay home and sleep. I complained about so many things, including church. One memory sticks out to me. I had committed to go to a Mission trip earlier in the year. I was dating a girl and when we broke up I wanted to pull back from church. Instead my mom stuck by two things: it is always important to honor our commitments whether we like it or not, and church is a priority that we do not back away from because it does not suit us. I may not have been able to articulate it then, but that stance she took made a big difference for me. Obviously, or I would not be a youth minister today.

I found this on my own, but I am assured now that my faith is a priority. It is central to my life. Heck, I spend my free time writing and reading about it. No matter through my struggles, my questions, my journey I know that church will always be an important part of that. Whether I work there or not I will go. I will go with my wife. And I will go with my children one day.

First things first...we have to find a house.

*Disclaimer: although I am thinking about children I am not having any. For a long, long, long, time...if God decides to bless Kessia and I with that responsibility.