Being Sick

This last month has hit me like a ton of bricks. The days where I have felt 100% have been few and far between. Right now I am just coming off of an ER visit that had to be some of the worst pain I have had in a long, long time. Now as I am going on 3 hours without that pain I can start to feel my throat tighten and glands enlarge to fight off a cold.

One of the things that gets me is that I have not been "sick" in a long time. The flu or other common colds I would welcome right now. At least those would give me a change of pace. Now I just get pain to the mid section with no rhyme or reason for it.

When it comes to these issues I find it hard to explain to people at church. Since I am being employed there I have to explain to my boss (and the office manager) what is going on. I leave out all the details, but after past experiences I am very nervous they will not believe me. Of course they do, but I still worry.

The curveball for me is everyone at church wants to know what it is (so do I!). I try and dance around the issue to the best of my ability. They do not need to know what the exact issues and symptoms are. Now the people at church want to know because they want to help and cause they care, yet I feel like I have to expose my personal life to work. It feels like a mashing of professional and personal boundaries.

I guess where I am torn is that I want to share my personal life, to some degree, with those at church. I want them to know me and know them. Sharing some of my struggles allows them into my circle and builds a bond. The trade off is that there is a lot out there that people do not need to know about. If I over share I may end up shooting myself in the foot or giving the wrong impression.

This delicate balance has me confused. I think the easiest thing would be if I could just stop getting "sick". In the end I guess sharing about illnesses is not that bad as it allows for others to minister and pray for me. Maybe that is what I can do when sharing is asking for prayer and encouraging those in their faith that way. Here's hoping I don't get more opportunities in the near future!