The impact we don't know

As I grew up in many youth group I often talked about, and heard from others, the impact that their youth ministers made in their lives. Not once did I think about the impact the youth make in their leader's lives.

This week I was down. I had a rough run in that left me in tears questioning my vocation and who God made me to be. I called a mentor and he listened and affirmed me. But really, he opened me up to see what God could do in my life through a past student.

This student was going on a retreat and I wrote her a Palanka letter. Through writing the letter, God showed me how he was working in her life. God's joy exudes from this student. Over the last few months that joy has slipped from me as tensions of the past were creeping back up. I committed to live in the same joy that my student had by changing a few of my habits.

I noticed in my two small groups, all my prayer requests were becoming about me. Personal prayer requests are good, but my prayer life was leaning towards egotistical. That is not the relationship with God I want. The second piece was to give up venting and complaining. I process verbally so this is very difficult, but it can also turn unhealthy fast.

In my letter I told my student about the difference God was making in the world through her. I can testify to the truth in that first hand. Thanks!