Where are you looking for love?

I had a great conversation the other day with a friend. They are at a stage in their life where they are beginning to feel the pressure to get married. Their parents have asked if they are meeting enough "people" leaving my friend wondering. They had not felt this pressure till recently and now it is coming in fast.

Through the course of the conversation we talked about a couple of different things. The first was how Paul argues that it is better to be single. I can completely understand this. While I love my wife so much, I also understand how when I hear a call from God I need to check this with her and see if that might be possible with us. There are two making discussions and listening rather than one. This can often inhibit couples from following God's call as one might be hesitant.

My friend brought up a piece of scripture of how two are better than one. It is really frustrating how this piece of scripture gets taken out of context. I have heard it in a wedding where this passage implies that it is better to be with someone than without. That is COMPLETELY false and twisting scripture. The passage is about being in community. It is better to be around others than without. Simply put if we are not in relationship with others how can you ever understand love, trust, and sacrifice? These are communal practices and no individual concepts.

In the most extreme I have seen this played out in my grandmother. She has lived alone for the last decade and the lack of others around has taken her ability to think. I love her dearly, but without having to think of others we start thinking that the world revolves around us. We place our selves in the God role. Frankly, I know this is something I can never do, live alone, because I will become overly paranoid and self centered.

In the end my friend and I began to talk about where we look for love. I fessed up that even with having "romantic" love I long desperately for friendship love. Every time a friend does not call me back, or leaves me hanging, or does not call I take it very personally. I have the same desires my friend has, but for deep friendships.

We both realized that we are created for Love. The problem we both, and I am sure millions of others, is that we try to fill that need for love with other things rather than with God's unconditional love. It is very difficult to remember, but something that we must constantly ask ourselves. Where are we looking for love? Whom are we looking to for love?

I pray one day I will be able to answer that question honestly and wholeheartedly, God!