Over Memorial day weekend, I was down at University Puget Sound for the annual CONVO get together for High School United Methodist Students. We had an amazing speaker named Mark Yaconelli. This youth ministry veteran told many incredible stories that captivated the all of us in attendance. One of his stories stuck out to me specifically.
Mark had a student, we will call him John. John could be very difficult and stuck around the church on the edges. One year John ended up getting caught with drugs and for his sentence in court he was ordered to go to a rehab clinic. This was a pretty special program up in the mountains. As a part of the program each students would end their time with a week in solitude out in the back country. This time was almost a spiritual time to think about all they had been through.
Around this time that John comes back to the youth group Mark finally caves into a friend who has been bugging him about doing role playing in youth group. The youth had been struggling with how to talk about their faith with others and share what it means. So Mark sets up a little stage where there are two chairs and a table in between like a lunch room. Then he asks for two volunteers.
The first one to come up and sit in the "Christian" chair was a young woman named Kim. The second student, who was to sit in the "non-christian" chair was a young man named Chris. As they started out the role play Kim started explaining who Jesus is and why that is important in our lives. Chris shoots back about how we know this. Kim answers that the Bible, God's word helps us understand it. Chris rappidly fires again, "I don't believe in the Bible."
At this point Kim raises her hand. This was the groups signal if they got stuck and wanted someone else to come in and try it out. Another youth, Alex, comes up and fills right in. Alex explains that we can see and know God from all creation. We can see all that God has made and know that God is good and loving.
About this time the group all starts to feel this is a little real for Chris and he was not just role playing. Chris responded angrily to Alex's assertion by explaining that he had lost a friend to a stray bullet from a gang. Where had God been then? Does that observation show God's goodness? Quietly, Alex raised his hand.
At this point Mark started to worry and wonder what he had just done to all the youth. How was he going to rescue the situation and figure out some way to take this. That and how great a suggestion it was from his friend! At this point, none other than John, who had just gotten back from rehab, steps up. Mark's worry went into over drive as he imagined the conversation these two were going to have about faith.
John silently walked up and removed the table from between the chairs. He scooted the chair close to Chris and sat down. Chris then in almost a full shout starts firing. "What are you going to tell me? What, that God is good, or that my friend was meant to die?" Chris kept firing and firing in his angry shout.
At this point only those close up could see it, but John had a single tear sliding down his cheek. Chris noticed this and stopped. John then stood up and picked up Chris and held him close. He embraced him tightly for a few moments and then the two of them walked back to their seats. All the while John had never said a single word.
John had shown God's love by listening rather than throwing words at Chris. He had listened with his heart. This is how all of us should respond. We do not need to reason or argue the world into faith, but show what it really means to believe.
I pray we all can preach the Gospel where ever we go and only if ABSOLUTELY necessary, use words.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Friday, June 4, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Where are you looking for love?
I had a great conversation the other day with a friend. They are at a stage in their life where they are beginning to feel the pressure to get married. Their parents have asked if they are meeting enough "people" leaving my friend wondering. They had not felt this pressure till recently and now it is coming in fast.
Through the course of the conversation we talked about a couple of different things. The first was how Paul argues that it is better to be single. I can completely understand this. While I love my wife so much, I also understand how when I hear a call from God I need to check this with her and see if that might be possible with us. There are two making discussions and listening rather than one. This can often inhibit couples from following God's call as one might be hesitant.
My friend brought up a piece of scripture of how two are better than one. It is really frustrating how this piece of scripture gets taken out of context. I have heard it in a wedding where this passage implies that it is better to be with someone than without. That is COMPLETELY false and twisting scripture. The passage is about being in community. It is better to be around others than without. Simply put if we are not in relationship with others how can you ever understand love, trust, and sacrifice? These are communal practices and no individual concepts.
In the most extreme I have seen this played out in my grandmother. She has lived alone for the last decade and the lack of others around has taken her ability to think. I love her dearly, but without having to think of others we start thinking that the world revolves around us. We place our selves in the God role. Frankly, I know this is something I can never do, live alone, because I will become overly paranoid and self centered.
In the end my friend and I began to talk about where we look for love. I fessed up that even with having "romantic" love I long desperately for friendship love. Every time a friend does not call me back, or leaves me hanging, or does not call I take it very personally. I have the same desires my friend has, but for deep friendships.
We both realized that we are created for Love. The problem we both, and I am sure millions of others, is that we try to fill that need for love with other things rather than with God's unconditional love. It is very difficult to remember, but something that we must constantly ask ourselves. Where are we looking for love? Whom are we looking to for love?
I pray one day I will be able to answer that question honestly and wholeheartedly, God!
Through the course of the conversation we talked about a couple of different things. The first was how Paul argues that it is better to be single. I can completely understand this. While I love my wife so much, I also understand how when I hear a call from God I need to check this with her and see if that might be possible with us. There are two making discussions and listening rather than one. This can often inhibit couples from following God's call as one might be hesitant.
My friend brought up a piece of scripture of how two are better than one. It is really frustrating how this piece of scripture gets taken out of context. I have heard it in a wedding where this passage implies that it is better to be with someone than without. That is COMPLETELY false and twisting scripture. The passage is about being in community. It is better to be around others than without. Simply put if we are not in relationship with others how can you ever understand love, trust, and sacrifice? These are communal practices and no individual concepts.
In the most extreme I have seen this played out in my grandmother. She has lived alone for the last decade and the lack of others around has taken her ability to think. I love her dearly, but without having to think of others we start thinking that the world revolves around us. We place our selves in the God role. Frankly, I know this is something I can never do, live alone, because I will become overly paranoid and self centered.
In the end my friend and I began to talk about where we look for love. I fessed up that even with having "romantic" love I long desperately for friendship love. Every time a friend does not call me back, or leaves me hanging, or does not call I take it very personally. I have the same desires my friend has, but for deep friendships.
We both realized that we are created for Love. The problem we both, and I am sure millions of others, is that we try to fill that need for love with other things rather than with God's unconditional love. It is very difficult to remember, but something that we must constantly ask ourselves. Where are we looking for love? Whom are we looking to for love?
I pray one day I will be able to answer that question honestly and wholeheartedly, God!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Kids ask the best questions!
The amazing questions, thoughts and ideas that come from little children never seems to astound me. Many times I go weeks and months without getting to hear some of the priceless questions and then when I least expect it they bombard me with deep theological ideas that challenge me to think and reason out what it is I believe and think.
Today in Sunday School our topic was looking at James 2:1-9. This passage centers on not showing favoritism. When reading I improvised and instead of using the imagery of meetings I used school and changed the rich and poor to things the students might see in their classes. We talked about loving everyone. It was at this point that one of my students first challenged me.
A little boy pipped up, "shouldn't we care for the poor more though?" How to thread the needle with two five-year-old students and a three-year-old? I tried to figure this out and as I thought it became clear that we must love equally, but sometimes we show this differently. My own parents came to mind as my brother and I are very different in personality and needs. They loved us equally, but sometimes that meant spending more time with Matt or me. It might mean more help, care, or teaching to either one of us depending on the situation. With a persons status this should be the same. How the love is demonstrated might be very differently. One may need basic needs met. The other might need truth spoken in their life, or companionship.
After wading through this question another was lobbed my way, "shouldn't we love God and Jesus more than people though?" My first thought was simply "uhhhh..." Then a scripture passage entered my mind, the Greatest Commandment. I let the kids know that Jesus talked about that and we should investigate together to see if we can figure that out. As we read the passage Jesus mentions loving God first and foremost. Then states that we should love each other. It seems as though it is "1" and "1a". As this was talked about it became clear that really when we love God we will love others. One flows from the other.
While I am not sure any of this sunk in, as none of the children had technically entered school yet, it was a great Sunday School. The best thing is that they are still able to ask these questions and push adults. The hardest part might be explaining it at the right cognitive level.
On the lighter side, at the end of church the three year old boy had a question for me. He was in his dad's arms when he asked "Are you God?" I don't know that I have ever felt so honored in all my life. I quickly responded no, but I get to try and represent God and help others get to know God just like our Pastor, Parents, and friends. Hopefully it means that I am doing my job well and allowing Children to connect to God through me. What a special moment!
Today in Sunday School our topic was looking at James 2:1-9. This passage centers on not showing favoritism. When reading I improvised and instead of using the imagery of meetings I used school and changed the rich and poor to things the students might see in their classes. We talked about loving everyone. It was at this point that one of my students first challenged me.
A little boy pipped up, "shouldn't we care for the poor more though?" How to thread the needle with two five-year-old students and a three-year-old? I tried to figure this out and as I thought it became clear that we must love equally, but sometimes we show this differently. My own parents came to mind as my brother and I are very different in personality and needs. They loved us equally, but sometimes that meant spending more time with Matt or me. It might mean more help, care, or teaching to either one of us depending on the situation. With a persons status this should be the same. How the love is demonstrated might be very differently. One may need basic needs met. The other might need truth spoken in their life, or companionship.
After wading through this question another was lobbed my way, "shouldn't we love God and Jesus more than people though?" My first thought was simply "uhhhh..." Then a scripture passage entered my mind, the Greatest Commandment. I let the kids know that Jesus talked about that and we should investigate together to see if we can figure that out. As we read the passage Jesus mentions loving God first and foremost. Then states that we should love each other. It seems as though it is "1" and "1a". As this was talked about it became clear that really when we love God we will love others. One flows from the other.
While I am not sure any of this sunk in, as none of the children had technically entered school yet, it was a great Sunday School. The best thing is that they are still able to ask these questions and push adults. The hardest part might be explaining it at the right cognitive level.
On the lighter side, at the end of church the three year old boy had a question for me. He was in his dad's arms when he asked "Are you God?" I don't know that I have ever felt so honored in all my life. I quickly responded no, but I get to try and represent God and help others get to know God just like our Pastor, Parents, and friends. Hopefully it means that I am doing my job well and allowing Children to connect to God through me. What a special moment!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Truth and the wealthy
A year ago I lead a retreat to a little place called Children's Country Home, which supports medically fragile kids and their families. The group was of all 6-8th grade students. We set discussed service, loving others, and also being afraid. This was to prep them to see kids there age who needed machines to breathe and live. We spent the day with the medically fragile children working on the yard, painting, and playing with them. At the end of the day we sat down and discussed the experience.
I asked all the students a classic youth ministry question, what was your high moment of the day and "Ah ha!" moment of the day (vague so they do not have to have a "low" but could also be something that God taught them). The students all were obviously touched with what had happened, and came away with some great thoughts. Many let us know how blessed they realize now they are and how they appreciate the things they have much more now after being with the medically fragile students. While nice on the surface it made me cringe a little inside after every student who said it.
The experience sat with me for a long time after and continued to churn my soul like an unsettled stomach. What was missing is their sense of blessing. The students associated blessing with material items, or physical ability. They had yet to see the real blessing that the medically fragile students had that they could not fathom. The simplest and most amazing blessings, joy and love.
Their life experiences of living in a wealthy area had given many of them a sense of entitlement and scued version of value. I saw this recently as I was asked by a student about my phone. They wanted to see how "cool" the stuff was that I have. When finally showed them (I resisted for a while but when they start reaching for your pockets it is better to just get it out) they commented on how simple and boring it was. My heart was broken. Not because I care how cool my phone is, but that a young child already places so much worth on material goods.
Mother Teresa weighed in when she said "It is among the wealthy that we can find the most terrible poverty of all - loneliness." It is through this loneliness that we try and find a home. We try and find an identity. A reason. This has lead to seeing value in material items beacuse they will help us fit in or achieve our identity. This is why people want to create an identity using the internet or have a million friends on facebook. We no longer understand what is really vaulable. We no longer remember our community and what it truly means to love others as we love our selves. I am not sure I ever learned how to do this as it took me decades just to learn how to love myself.
We live in the richest country in the world. Even when we say we don't have much it is a lie and deep down we know it. We are among the top 2% of entire planets population. I may not have as much as those living next to me, but I know I make more than 1 dollar a day like most in third world countries. We are called to more. More than simply pray for those whom we like. More than tithe when it is convenient. It might be hard to hear, but we know it is the truth.
"You may recall the old comic in which two pastors are talking, and one of them asks the other, "How's your church?" The other pastor boasts, "Quite well, I should say. When I got there, we had only thirty members and I have only been there a year. Now we are seeing over four hundred people on Sunday morning. And how's your church?" The first pastor says, "Well, I don't know. When I got there we were seeing about a hundred. I've been preaching the gospel, and I've preached that ole church down to ten." (Irresistible Revolution pg 317)
The truth is hard for us to hear. I have seen huge congregations that were there because it was easy. I have knew many people in college who did not like to hear the challenging messages during chapel. They want it to be simple. In the end "Following Jesus is simple, but not easy. Love until it hurts, and then love more."
The beautiful thing about loving is that it cures the poverty that afflicts the wealthy, since we can not love without community.
I asked all the students a classic youth ministry question, what was your high moment of the day and "Ah ha!" moment of the day (vague so they do not have to have a "low" but could also be something that God taught them). The students all were obviously touched with what had happened, and came away with some great thoughts. Many let us know how blessed they realize now they are and how they appreciate the things they have much more now after being with the medically fragile students. While nice on the surface it made me cringe a little inside after every student who said it.
The experience sat with me for a long time after and continued to churn my soul like an unsettled stomach. What was missing is their sense of blessing. The students associated blessing with material items, or physical ability. They had yet to see the real blessing that the medically fragile students had that they could not fathom. The simplest and most amazing blessings, joy and love.
Their life experiences of living in a wealthy area had given many of them a sense of entitlement and scued version of value. I saw this recently as I was asked by a student about my phone. They wanted to see how "cool" the stuff was that I have. When finally showed them (I resisted for a while but when they start reaching for your pockets it is better to just get it out) they commented on how simple and boring it was. My heart was broken. Not because I care how cool my phone is, but that a young child already places so much worth on material goods.
Mother Teresa weighed in when she said "It is among the wealthy that we can find the most terrible poverty of all - loneliness." It is through this loneliness that we try and find a home. We try and find an identity. A reason. This has lead to seeing value in material items beacuse they will help us fit in or achieve our identity. This is why people want to create an identity using the internet or have a million friends on facebook. We no longer understand what is really vaulable. We no longer remember our community and what it truly means to love others as we love our selves. I am not sure I ever learned how to do this as it took me decades just to learn how to love myself.
We live in the richest country in the world. Even when we say we don't have much it is a lie and deep down we know it. We are among the top 2% of entire planets population. I may not have as much as those living next to me, but I know I make more than 1 dollar a day like most in third world countries. We are called to more. More than simply pray for those whom we like. More than tithe when it is convenient. It might be hard to hear, but we know it is the truth.
"You may recall the old comic in which two pastors are talking, and one of them asks the other, "How's your church?" The other pastor boasts, "Quite well, I should say. When I got there, we had only thirty members and I have only been there a year. Now we are seeing over four hundred people on Sunday morning. And how's your church?" The first pastor says, "Well, I don't know. When I got there we were seeing about a hundred. I've been preaching the gospel, and I've preached that ole church down to ten." (Irresistible Revolution pg 317)
The truth is hard for us to hear. I have seen huge congregations that were there because it was easy. I have knew many people in college who did not like to hear the challenging messages during chapel. They want it to be simple. In the end "Following Jesus is simple, but not easy. Love until it hurts, and then love more."
The beautiful thing about loving is that it cures the poverty that afflicts the wealthy, since we can not love without community.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
All the small things
It has been a while since I have posted on here. I have had so many thoughts over the last few weeks (or month) to write about, but unfortunately life has been in the way. Today though I am going to try and go back to some of those thoughts over the last month and delve into some of the ideas.
The big thing that has taken up my time was Vacation Bible School. It was a great week, but very tiring. The week had me thinking about children's ministry, what is our goal with VBS weeks, and also some of the different ministries like "Puppet Ministry."
Then I took a vacation. It was great to get away. Kessia and I went around the Olympic Peninsula. There we enjoyed lots of reading, hiking, long car rides, debates over where to go next, and beautiful places. I found myself wanting to write about creation while on the hikes. The different pace of life had me thinking about culture and our reliance on technology and media. The vacation in general had me thinking about writing some thoughts about the sabbath.
The winner for my first post in this hiatus is going to be "Irresistible Revolution". There were so many points and thought in it that took me a while of digesting. It was not comprehension that was difficult, but the internalization of what the concept would look like in reality. Over the next week I hope to look at several different quotes and flush out what they mean to me.
I have big dreams. When I think of a project at church I enter into a fantasy land of how much of an impact it will make to the church, community, and world. Point in case: We had a movie night planned for once a week this summer. I had thought that it could become a far reaching community event. It would start out small, 10 people, and as they shared with their friends and neighbors it would grow. I envisioned 20, 30, 40, 50 coming to the movie and having it become a hit. I thought intensely about each movie and when it would fall during the summer to maximize the attendance. I thought of ways to help it spring board, like advertising to the school. I thought of how this could help accomplish the mission of the church and help everyone grow together towards Christ.
Now into August we are around 4 people. We have had showings where no one has showed up and I have been left by myself wondering where I went wrong with this event. Why did my dreams not come true?
"We can not do great things, only small things with great love. It is not how much you do but how much love you put into doing it." Mother Teresa
As I read this quote in Irresistible Revolution I thought of all the things I try and do. All the big plans, ideas, thoughts. Instead of realistic I am often trying to accomplish great things. I do not think there is anything wrong with that, but I was missing the most important aspect of what I was doing. I need to make sure Love is at the center of it.
During Vacation Bible School we had a missions component. I threw it in there as an add on to most of the great things I thought we were doing. We had a great theme, stations, decorations, and plans. In the end it was the add on that made the most impact.
We started the week by asking kids to bring in socks to help out the homeless. I thought most of them would forget and we would end up with maybe a pair of socks or two (most likely the ones I bought!). On third day the box was almost completely full. By Friday it was over flowing and takes three garbage bags to hold. This came from 25 students. We had over 6 pairs of socks per child! It was simply a small thing done with lots of love.
Working in a small church that is something I need to constantly remember. It is not about the numbers, but about the heart. It is about the amount of love and care that we put in. It is about showing Christ.
In the end it is not about lowering expectations. This not about trying less, or not having dreams. But instead, making sure that we remember the small things.
The individual.
The heart.
The love.
The big thing that has taken up my time was Vacation Bible School. It was a great week, but very tiring. The week had me thinking about children's ministry, what is our goal with VBS weeks, and also some of the different ministries like "Puppet Ministry."
Then I took a vacation. It was great to get away. Kessia and I went around the Olympic Peninsula. There we enjoyed lots of reading, hiking, long car rides, debates over where to go next, and beautiful places. I found myself wanting to write about creation while on the hikes. The different pace of life had me thinking about culture and our reliance on technology and media. The vacation in general had me thinking about writing some thoughts about the sabbath.
The winner for my first post in this hiatus is going to be "Irresistible Revolution". There were so many points and thought in it that took me a while of digesting. It was not comprehension that was difficult, but the internalization of what the concept would look like in reality. Over the next week I hope to look at several different quotes and flush out what they mean to me.
I have big dreams. When I think of a project at church I enter into a fantasy land of how much of an impact it will make to the church, community, and world. Point in case: We had a movie night planned for once a week this summer. I had thought that it could become a far reaching community event. It would start out small, 10 people, and as they shared with their friends and neighbors it would grow. I envisioned 20, 30, 40, 50 coming to the movie and having it become a hit. I thought intensely about each movie and when it would fall during the summer to maximize the attendance. I thought of ways to help it spring board, like advertising to the school. I thought of how this could help accomplish the mission of the church and help everyone grow together towards Christ.
Now into August we are around 4 people. We have had showings where no one has showed up and I have been left by myself wondering where I went wrong with this event. Why did my dreams not come true?
"We can not do great things, only small things with great love. It is not how much you do but how much love you put into doing it." Mother Teresa
As I read this quote in Irresistible Revolution I thought of all the things I try and do. All the big plans, ideas, thoughts. Instead of realistic I am often trying to accomplish great things. I do not think there is anything wrong with that, but I was missing the most important aspect of what I was doing. I need to make sure Love is at the center of it.
During Vacation Bible School we had a missions component. I threw it in there as an add on to most of the great things I thought we were doing. We had a great theme, stations, decorations, and plans. In the end it was the add on that made the most impact.
We started the week by asking kids to bring in socks to help out the homeless. I thought most of them would forget and we would end up with maybe a pair of socks or two (most likely the ones I bought!). On third day the box was almost completely full. By Friday it was over flowing and takes three garbage bags to hold. This came from 25 students. We had over 6 pairs of socks per child! It was simply a small thing done with lots of love.
Working in a small church that is something I need to constantly remember. It is not about the numbers, but about the heart. It is about the amount of love and care that we put in. It is about showing Christ.
In the end it is not about lowering expectations. This not about trying less, or not having dreams. But instead, making sure that we remember the small things.
The individual.
The heart.
The love.
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